Ye Recycled Castle :
Long, long ago, in the land of Reuse, there lived a king called Reduce, who lived in his castle Recycle. It was a peaceful place except all of the occupants -- the king himself, a sleepy guard, and a knight in shining armor -- were plagued by boredom. Everyday, the king and the knight would wake up at 8am and open the drawbridge. Then the guard would come in from the night shift and go to bed. The knight and the king would eat breakfast and watch for invading armies until 12pm. Then they would have lunch and watch for invading armies until 7pm. Then they would have dinner and watch for invading armies until 10:30pm. Then the guard would get up, take his post outside, and the knight and the king would close the drawbridge, and go to bed. Every -- Single -- Day. Years passed in the same way until one day, they did see an invading army! Unfortunately, it had never occurred to them what they would actually do if there was an invading army. In a panic, the king put out a sign that read:
When no help came, the knight came to a startling realization. "This is Medieval Times!" he shouted. "Most people don't even know how to read!" So they decided they had to defend the castle themselves.
The knight went to the bookshelves, took out his old knight school textbooks, blew out the dust, and started to read. The guard did the same with his old guard school textbooks. Then the king shouted, "They have a dragon with them!!!" So then the knight flipped to Chapter 96: Ten Easy Steps To Dragonslaying and read it carefully: If you see a dragon, do the following: 1. Pull out your sword. 2. Put on fireproof armor and get a fireproof shield. 3. Gather an army of wizards and other knights. 4. Approach dragon. 5. Stick sword into dragon (this may be difficult) and instruct other 6. Instruct wizards to cast combat spells. 7. Repeat 5 and 6 until dragon is slain. 8. Rescue any damsels in distress. 9. Claim rewards and riches. 10. If all else fails, forget the damsels, rewards, and riches, and RUN FOR YOUR LIFE! The knight realized that (a) he did not have an army of wizards and knights, and (b) while he was reading, the army was trying to crush the drawbridge. Then the king remembered that a couple of years ago, some traveling salesmen sold him a cannon. Together with the knight and the guard, they blew off the dust, dragged it up to the battlement (with some difficulty) and started reading the instruction manual:
When they were finally finished with all that reading, they loaded the cannon, aimed, and realized that the army had already broken in, stolen the treasure, ate some pie, took a nap, and left. "Well that's that!" said the king and sent the guard out to look for more silver.
A week later, the guard returned with new treasure. The day after that, the king and the knight got up at 8am and opened the drawbridge. Then the guard came in from the night shift and went to bed. The knight and the king ate breakfast and watched for invading armies until 12pm. Then they had lunch and watched for invading armies until 7pm. Then they had dinner and watched for invading armies until 10:30pm. Then the guard got up, took his post outside, and the knight and the king closed the drawbridge, and went to bed. And they live happily ever after. The End.
Thanks again Zee for sharing!
“… tell me a story” is a new series where we share reviews of books we love, unpublished or new children’s books in audio or written form, and stories parents or kids have made up themselves and would like to share. If you would like to participate, we would love hear any and all of your tall tales! Simply send submissions to firstname.lastname@example.org with the subject heading “tell me a story.”